On the Anatomy of Loneliness

Waking up too early • Eating breakfast at the stove • Leaving the dishes at the kitchen sink • Forgetting where the keys are • Getting lost while driving • Doing the groceries and over-buying • Going out to lunch and over-ordering • Playing the same CD incessantly • Reorganizing the cabinets listlessly • Filing receipts • Brewing too much coffee • Eating dinner out of a tin can • Attempting to write and failing • Checking the mobile phone compulsively • Counting the weeks obsessively • Catching up on email • Counting the days • Cleaning out the inbox • Counting the hours • Wondering why there’s so much space • Counting the minutes • Wondering why there’s so much time • Counting the seconds • Leaving the bedside lamp on • Burrowing into the sheets • Listening to the clock tick • Jumping at the slightest sound • Suffering from insomnia • Drinking Earl Grey tea • Letting the tea grow cold • Attempting to write again and failing • Fending off anxiety • Staving off depression • Staring at the laptop screen • Looking through old pictures • Planning the month ahead • Losing all motivation • Wondering when the wait will end •  Wishing for sleep • Dreading the morning • Dreading all mornings • Dreading writing • Feeling overwhelmed • Wanting more tea • Putting off getting it • Counting words • Resenting distance • Resenting absence • Resenting necessity • Feeling exhausted • Curling into a ball • Staring into space • Counting words again • Counting weeks again • Giving in to melancholy • Giving in to despondence •  Second-guessing decisions • Hating the clock’s ticking • Wanting time to pass • Waiting for time to pass • Waiting for sleep to come • Waiting for the end of loneliness


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