On the Ingenuity of Desperation (Part 1)

This deserves a brief introduction.

[Start of introduction.]

In a blog entry posted more than a week ago, I alluded to my sporadic efforts to maintain a journal over the last several years.* In a moment of literary desperation, I opened one of these diaries and discovered the following series of entries written nearly a decade ago while my family and I were traveling by boat from Cebu to Manila.

I think they’re funny. I really do. I mean, what shipping line would call a boat the Princess of the Universe???

And, oh, this entire series will run over three whole blog posts.

[End of introduction.]

* The entry was posted on March 2nd, 2011 and is entitled On the Annals of Accounting.

[Start of blog post.]

June 3, 2001. Sunday. 12:01 p.m.

[On the Princess of the Universe en route to Manila.]

Am stuffed. What is it about Filipino culinary culture that dictates one eat free meals even if one is full and food is obviously inedible??? Am totally opposed to illogical idea that such will lessen suffering of poor starving children of Somalia (or other similarly-deprived country).

June 3, 2001. Sunday. 12:16 p.m.

[On bunk sharing earphones with little sister while listening to melanchoiy Annie Lennox tunes interspersed with Beastie Boys riffs.]

Am obviously still in grip of recently read Bridget Jones sequel. Will not mind copycatting Helen Fielding though as much too desperate to transcend three-year-long writing block. Perhaps stunningly fresh original voice will reemerge Phoenix-like from ashes of past literary glory—spurred by burgeoning horror of permanently sounding like a Cathy Guisewhite comic strip.

June 3, 2001. Sunday. 2:20 p.m.

[Lolling in upper bunk feeling bored, bloated and very much like beached whale.]

Oh God—am out of books and batteries. Have still got 15 plus hours in mercy of small cabin with brother, sister and parents with proselytizing tendencies.* Is completely out of question to while away time by gorging self on Lays and Crunchy Cookie Kisses as have only15 hours left to let weight stabilize.

*Effect is very much like crossing the Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island and The 700 Club.

June 3, 2001. Sunday. 2:35 p.m.

[Blue Whale meets Willy Wonka.]

Mmmm…Crunchy Cookie Kisses verrry good.

[End of Part 1 of blog post.]

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