On the Tenacity of Attachment


So, I got a casual text from my mother early today asking me why my blog had been “archived or suspended” for violating WordPress’s terms of service. My first reaction was mild alarm. After all, the only violation Peripateia could have possibly incurred was taxing people’s capacity for pedantry, and I was secure in my knowledge that WordPress hadn’t gotten around to prohibiting that yet.

Mild alarm gave way to outright panic, however, when I discovered that I couldn’t even log on to my WordPress account. I had envisioned a scenario where the only forfeited feature was publishing new posts. It hadn’t remotely occurred to me that I could lose the entire account altogether—a possibility whose contemplation resulted in a minor mental implosion of sorts.

In the next moment, it occurred to me that the whole incident could have been engineered by the universe as a test of my ability to forego attachment. In response, I silently screamed at the universe for a good five minutes before quieting down enough to morosely contemplate the full extent of what I had possibly lost, which was: five months’ worth of almost completely new writing and a tiny but dedicated readership constituted almost entirely of people whose distaste for pedantry has been mitigated only by the tenacity of their love.

Despite my best efforts to wallow in catatonic self-pity, however, a pragmatic optimism (whose genesis I can only attribute to four weeks of yoga training) very quickly prevailed. The first order of business was to write a caustic (albeit politely worded) note to the administrators of WordPress to inquire about the reasons for my blog’s suspension. The second, third and fourth orders of business were to determine how much of the material I had managed to save offline (almost all bar two weeks’ worth of recent entries), how to inform my readers of what had transpired, and what to call my new blog and when to launch it should a replacement for Peripateia turn out to be necessary. The last consideration was actually painful. It occurred to me then that I could never create a new blog to replace Peripateia—if I were to create a new blog, it would be to create a new blog, period.

Fortunately, it turns out that the universe is sensitive to high-intensity screams—even if executed silently—and I got a text from my mother later in the evening cheerfully informing me that my blog was back online, and that I was still missing the day’s entry. It wasn’t quite the celebratory note I would have expected, but it made my day (and possibly my month) all the same.

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