Few things in life are as annoying as getting a sudden craving late in the evening for a food item that’s: (1) not available in any restaurant or supermarket in the vicinity of one’s neighborhood; (2) too cheap to qualify for delivery—if delivery is even an option; and (3) too specific to be substituted by anything actually available in one’s refrigerator—which never contains anything remotely interesting apart from fungi in any case.
When this happens to me—which is fairly often given that my lifestyle requires dinners served no later than 6:00 pm and preferably even earlier than 5:00 pm—I can count on passing the rest of the evening in a state of disgruntled ill-humor. It’s a simple case of four deadly sins canceling each other out: on the one hand, pride (in the form of vanity) and sloth advise abstention; on the other hand, gluttony and greed demand indulgence.
(So what particular forms do these temptations assume? To wit: BreadTalk’s Chocolate Cream Cheese Bun, Spicy Pork Floss Bun and Tuna Bun; Chowking’s Spicy Chao Fan or Halo-halo; Jollibee’s Chicken Joy; KFC’s Hot and Spicy Chicken; Kopi Roti’s Kopi Bun and Kaya Toast with Teh; Ministop’s Uncle John’s Fried Chicken or Vanilla Ice Cream; Nathaniel’s Buko Pandan; Potato Corner’s Barbecue Flavored Fries; Yin Yang’s Fresh Chinese Lumpia; and many, many other items that might appear somewhat . . . inappropriate for someone living the yogic lifestyle. But then again, it’s hard to imagine anyone—yogic or otherwise—being seized by a sudden hankering for celery sticks.)
So what can one actually do?
Not much really—though a dozen half-hearted forays through the contents of one’s refrigerator (in the hopes of finding an abandoned tub of ice cream) can expend enough energy to induce sleep and its concomitant relief.
Which is why I’m going down to the kitchen now for Foray # 3.