On the Hazards of Taxes (Part 2)


The adventure continues.

~~~~~

(FILING Taxes) Still not the most accurate image, but it'll do. (Image sourced from Google.)

ROUND 4: THE BATTLE TO SUBMIT THE RIGHT FORM

Peripateia heads for the table servicing Revenue District Office 40 and after nervously waiting her turn for a few minutes, finds herself face to face with a tax revenue officer…

Peripateia (proudly hands over her accomplished forms—completed with much input given via phone and email by her long-suffering father): I’m here to submit my forms.

Officer (sifts delicately through the sheaf of papers): You’re submitting Form 2307 besides Form 2316?

Peripateia (with a hint of foreboding): Er, yes?

Officer (dismissive): Then you should be submitting Form 1701 and not Form 1700.

Peripateia (speechless): …

Officer (omniscient): You can get blank forms at the desk by the gate.

Peripateia (speechless): …

ROUND 4 SCORE: BIR-3; PERIPATEIA-1

ROUND 5: THE BATTLE TO SUBMIT THE RIGHT FORM CORRECTLY

Peripateia painstakingly fills out three copies of Form 1701 (she’s barely written by hand for the last 14 years), returns to the table assigned to Revenue District Office 40, finds the officer she last spoke to on break, and after waiting nervously for a few minutes, seats herself in front of another tax revenue officer…

Peripateia (diffident): I’m here to submit my forms.

Officer (sifts delicately through the sheaf of papers): Your registered address is Cebu?

Peripateia (with a hint of foreboding): Er, yes?

Officer (dismissive): You can’t file your returns here.

Peripateia (confused): All my previous certificates of tax withheld always used my Cebu address as the registered address. They always put my Manila address under “Local Address.”

Officer (laconic): You can’t file your returns at a Quezon City Revenue District Office if your registered address is Cebu.

Peripateia (annoyed by the officer’s use of deductive logic): Well, can I just cross out my Cebu address on the form, fill in my Manila address and then countersign above the correction?

Officer (still laconic): No.

Peripateia (speechless): …

Officer (proud): The forms are scanned now and erasures can’t be recognized by the system.

Peripateia (with a hint of foreboding): So I’m going to have to rewrite everything?

Officer (matter-of-fact): Yes.

Peripateia (speechless): …

Officer (omniscient): You can get blank forms—

Peripateia (no longer speechless): I know, I know. By the desk at the gate.

ROUND 5 SCORE: BIR-4; PERIPATEIA-1

ROUND 6: THE BATTLE TO SUBMIT THE RIGHT FORM CORRECTLY (AGAIN)

Peripateia painstakingly fills out three copies of Form 1701 again (at a different table, this time, to avoid embarrassment), returns to the table assigned to Revenue District Office 40, finds the officer she originally spoke to, and seats herself in front of the officer with an air of defiance…

Peripateia (haughtily): I’m here to submit my forms.

Officer (sifts delicately through the sheaf of papers, takes out a calculator and punches a few numbers, then glares at one of the entries): …

Peripateia (all pretense at haughtiness gone): Is everything in order?

Officer (mildly): Overpayments should be placed in parentheses.

Peripateia (in a mild sweat): Er, I did that in one form, but wasn’t sure if it was right so I didn’t do it with the other copies…

Officer (finishes correcting the entries then pauses at a Form 2307 without triplicate copies): …

Peripateia (in another mild sweat): Is everything in order?

Officer (mildly): I’ll have to keep this copy as you don’t have duplicates.

Peripateia (grins manically): Oh, that’s fine. I’ve got a photocopy for myself.

Officer (briskly segregates the sheaf of papers into three piles, stamps something in violet on three of the papers and unceremoniously thrusts one pile forward): This is yours.

Peripateia (hesitantly): We’re done?

Officer (dismissive): We’re done.

Peripateia (startled and relieved at the same time): Oh. Right. Cool. (Starts heading for the exit then promptly remembers.) Oh yeah. I still have to register Abbey. (Pauses.) Oh dear, here we go again.

ROUND 6 SCORE: BIR-4; PERIPATEIA-2

Stay tuned for Rounds 7 to 9 (possibly 10 or 12, I still haven’t counted properly).

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