On the Hazards of Taxes (Part 3)


The adventure continues.

~~~~~

(FILING Taxes) Still not the most accurate image, but it'll be the last time. (Image sourced from Google.)

ROUNDS 7-8: THE BATTLES TO LOCATE THE RIGHT ROOM AND REGISTER ABBEY

Peripateia heads for Quezon City Revenue District Office’s inner sanctum with the intention to register Abbey…

Peripateia (relieved that at least the hard part is over): Excuse me, I’m here to submit an application for registration.

Guard (stone-faced): In which barangay does the applicant live?

Peripateia (with a hint of foreboding): Ugong Norte?

Guard (dismissive): Ugong Norte’s in…

Peripateia (weary): …yes, yes, yes, Pasig, I know. But really, this one isn’t in Pasig.

Guard (shrugging): You can try the office on the right hand side from the entrance.

Peripateia (polite): Thank you.

Peripateia saunters into the first office on the right hand side and accosts two women in conversation…

Peripateia (polite): Excuse me, I’m here to submit an application for registration.

Woman (helpful): In which barangay does the applicant live?

Peripateia (weary): Ugong Norte. (Pauses and waits for the requisite response.)

Woman (helpful): Oh, you’ll need to go to the office down the hall, dear.

Peripateia (stunned by the unexpected response): …

Woman (misinterpreting Peripateia’s silence): You just exit this room, turn right and head down the hall. You can’t miss it.

Peripateia (still stunned): Er, yes. Thank you.

In a daze, Peripateia wanders down the hall and enters the first office on the right…

Peripateia (still stunned): Excuse me, I’m here to submit an application for registration.

Woman (helpful): Let me see your form, dear.

Peripateia hands over the form in a daze.

Woman (helpful): You’re in the wrong room, dear. You should go to the room right next to this.

Peripateia (beginning to recover): Er, right. Thank you.

Peripateia saunters into the room next door…

Peripateia (almost fully recovered): Excuse me, I’m here to submit an application for registration.

Woman (helpful): Let me see that form.

Peripateia submits the form and waits nervously. After a moment, the woman looks up from her desk…

Woman (helpful): Adweru qwerup poiul lkjl zxcv nmvbm apoie asljkl asdfjl.

Peripateia (completely and utterly lost): Could you say that again please?

Woman (patient): Adweru qwerup poiul lkjl zxcv nmvbm apoie asljkl asdfjl. Guqwer asdfjk qer lpoias xcvzb weoiu.

Peripateia (has the beginnings of a headache): In other words…?

Woman (helpful and patient): Your friend doesn’t need to submit this form. She’s already registered.

Peripateia (suspicious): You’re absolutely sure about that?

Woman (smiling): Yes. The only time your friend will need to submit anything is weru qwerup poiul lkjl zxcv nmvbm apoie asljkl asdfjl.

Peripateia (retreating hastily): Er, yes. But right now, for sure, she doesn’t need to submit anything?

Woman (smiling): No.

Peripateia (taken aback): Right then. Er. Yes. Thank you very much.

Woman (smiling): You’re welcome. Have a good day.

Peripateia (smiling nervously): Thanks! You too.

Peripateia leaves the inner sanctum and finds herself in the foyer. On an impulse, she makes a beeline for the officer who filed her income tax returns…

Peripateia (determined): Excuse me, does my friend need to submit this form to you people?

Officer (scans the form quickly): Adweru qwerup poiul lkjl zxcv nmvbm apoie asljkl asdfjl.

Peripateia (weary): In other words…?

Officer (crisply): Your friend doesn’t need to submit this form. She’s already registered.

Peripateia (adamant): You’re absolutely sure about that?

Officer (staunchly): Yes. The only time your friend will need to submit anything is…

Peripateia (retreating hastily): Yes, yes, yes. I got the gist of it, I think. Thank you very much.

Officer (courteous): You’re welcome. Have a good day.

Peripateia waves quickly and exits the grounds. Upon approaching her car, she is accosted by the obsequious parking attendant…

Peripateia (starts rooting around her wallet for coins, realizes that her smallest bill is a hundred pesos, and sighs): I can only hope it isn’t like this next year.

Quasi Parking Attendant (grinning): It could be worse, Ma’am.

Peripateia: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

ROUND 7-8 SCORE: BIR-6; PERIPATEIA-2

Let’s see how we do next year…

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