Today, I feel lighter than I have in weeks. A sizeable chunk of my brain is currently devoted to analyzing the phenomenon (the part that’s addicted to life being easy, to me feeling good) for purposes of replicating it. Another chunk, more recently developed and markedly weaker, is basking in unabashed gratitude (the part that’s recognized that nothing lasts, that phenomena come and go).
The circumstances of my life haven’t changed. The same challenges remain: the invariant constraints with regard to time, money and energy; the perpetual irreconcilable dilemmas. The only thing that’s different is that I’ve finally gotten tired of all the needless suffering.
(The fact is, we need to get tired enough of our suffering to finally let go of it. Contrary to popular perception, we are tremendously attached to our pain. Different situations in life will call our attention to this fact, which is so easily forgotten that it needs to be learned again and again and again.)
So after weeks of emotional and mental self-torture, I’ve finally had enough and have simply decided to…drop it. I have no illusions that over time I’ll start accumulating baggage once again, but I can master dropping it faster and earlier.
As with all other things in life that matter, what it takes is dedicated and unyielding practice.