On the Advantages of Obliviousness


One of the top reasons why I make a very good receptionist: my obliviousness to celebrity identity (and therefore status).

~~~~~

7:00ish pm at the White Space Mind and Body Wellness Studio…

Peripateia (cheerfully): Good evening!

Male Guest: Hi, I was here before.

Peripateia (nods gamely): Yes, I remember.

Male Guest: This is my wife.

Peripateia (brightly): Hi!

Female Guest #1: We just wanted to see the place. We used to do Yoga in _____ but now we’re looking for someplace closer.

Peripateia (enthusiastically): Sure! Feel free to take a look around.

Female Guest #2: Do you have air-conditioning in the rooms?

Peripateia (frowns pedantically): Not in the asana rooms. It’s counterproductive because people need to be warmed up sufficiently for the practice.

Female Guest #1: Do you heat the rooms?

Peripateia (frowns pedantically): No. We haven’t found it necessary to apply artificial heating.

Male Guest: Alright. Thanks much for your time.

Peripeteia (chirpily): You’re welcome! Hope to see you again!

Guests leave. Abbey enters.

Abbey: You do realize that one of the guests you spoke to was ____________.

Peripateia (after a long pause): You’re kidding me. I didn’t recognize her.

Abbey (blithely): That was her.

Peripateia (after a long pause): That’s why I’m perfect for this job. I don’t recognize people.

Abbey (sighing): I have no idea why you even think that’s a good trait for this job.

Peripateia (with conviction): Because it means I get to treat everyone in the same way.

Abbey shakes her head and exits.

~~~~~

Honestly, that’s the nth celebrity I’ve met and didn’t realize that I’d met.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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