On the Challenge of Not-Doing


There are days when I have these pockets of time that are too short for accomplishing anything and too long for just sitting and twiddling one’s thumbs.

It’s during these moments that I become keenly aware of how uncomfortable I am with doing nothing.

(Doing nothing means several things to me, to wit: I’ll regret not using this time productively in the future. There’s something I’ve obviously forgotten to do. I haven’t done anything yet to deserve this break. I’ve got too many things on my to-do list to indulge in a break. And so on and so forth.)

The most insidious expression to date of my need to fill all the empty moments has assumed this form: Why don’t I just sit still and meditate?

Who am I fooling? I’m still making a project out of it.

Which simply means that even when it comes to doing nothing, more practice is necessary.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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