I know I’ve read too much when just the thought of being alive exhausts me.
The good thing about being a veteran of existential melancholia is that you truly, truly, get that it too shall pass. Ephemerality means that you never really have to deal with things. This “not-dealing” with things can take the shape of either equanimity or resignation. I can’t quite tell one from the other just yet, because I am not a veteran of “not-dealing” with things.
I deal with things. I take life on like a head-on collision.
So next year, along with being good, I’m going to try doing no-thing (what the Chinese philosophers call wu wei). In fact, being good and doing no-thing might just be one and the same thing.
So this is me, sitting with my melancholia, doing nothing, being good.
Next year is going to be a long, long, year.